been a month plus since i updated this blog...
i have lots to write... lots... but sometimes i just couldn't pen them down...
its hurts to write some of the times...
granny had left me on the 6 of dec... finally she is letting go of us... finally she is going to somewhere where she don't experience any more pain...
doc updates us regularly... from telling us granny might last 2 weeks to 2 days just a day apart..
her condition had gone downhill really fast...
when doc mentioned it to me that the condition is not good.. i can't hold it anymore and break down.. doc says i must be prepared...
when i received the call from my brother telling me that its really not on the good side... i cried with my heart out.. never did i cry to such a point....
granny was close to me... even closer than my mum.... we shared a special bond between us...
now that she is gone, the more i should live my life, i shouldn't be sad anymore... i should let her go peacefully... not to worry about me...
The Last Breath..
i choose to stayed behind on the wed night... i plan to go back the next morn and it will be my bro turn to stay over..
i was half asleep and wake to check out on granny...
surprisingly she was not really sleeping and toss about in bed... she said she can't cough out the phlegm.. she was oredi weak that day..
i get the nurse to give her a jab instead of drawing out the phlegm to ease her discomfort...
i thought she can sleep with the jab but she didn't... she was tossing left and right and tell me that she is not comfortable... i went to get the nurse again.. this time when i back, she is breathing hard and slowly... i called my bro and dad immediately and i keep asking her to wait... but she didn't... she didn't manage to hang on...
she left us... my heart pains to see the last sight of her...it still coming back to my mind even now..
did i make the wrong decision not to draw out the phlegm, if i would have allow the nurse to do so, would she be still around now??
i keep asking myself this question...
did i make the right decision...
