For so long, I did not take a closer look at him..
He had grown so thin…in fact quite a lot…
He is weak..
He needs to take a rest after few minutes of walk
a far opposite of how he used to be, he used to walk a lot, he used to walk fast..
For a moment, I realized that he had aged a lot
I realized that 时间在他的脸上流下了痕迹
I realized that time had moved faster than I am
Jul 28, 2009
Jul 27, 2009
It’s a different feeling
That day I helped my dad to wipe his neck as he is unable to reach it.
I can’t describe the feeling but it is really different.
I have grown from a child to a big kid, this is the first time I helped him.
That moment, I felt sad.
He is always strong and agile, managing himself, taking care of himself. But now he seemed helpless. Even the simplest thing seemed difficult to him now.
Two years ago, I have seen how life can be cruel. I have experienced how life can be tough. But I have to hold on. Hold on to whatever strength I have and move forward.
A close friend once said, just like my trekking experience, I have to continue to move forward, moving towards the summit, there is no turning back. Now, it is the same thing, no matter how tough and difficult it may be, I can only move forward together with him and with strength.
This time really, there is no turning back..
I can’t describe the feeling but it is really different.
I have grown from a child to a big kid, this is the first time I helped him.
That moment, I felt sad.
He is always strong and agile, managing himself, taking care of himself. But now he seemed helpless. Even the simplest thing seemed difficult to him now.
Two years ago, I have seen how life can be cruel. I have experienced how life can be tough. But I have to hold on. Hold on to whatever strength I have and move forward.
A close friend once said, just like my trekking experience, I have to continue to move forward, moving towards the summit, there is no turning back. Now, it is the same thing, no matter how tough and difficult it may be, I can only move forward together with him and with strength.
This time really, there is no turning back..
Jul 20, 2009
It doesn't mean I don't care
I don't ask doesn't mean I don't care
I don't say anything doesn't mean I'm dumb
I don't cry doesn't mean I am fine
I am just holding on for as long as I can
I don't say anything doesn't mean I'm dumb
I don't cry doesn't mean I am fine
I am just holding on for as long as I can
The day I was overwhelmed (Back Dated)
7 Jun 09
Dad went to see the specialist in regards to his bloated stomach
8 Jul 09
He is extremely discomfort, brother and mum sent him to emergency where he is admitted. We were
told his white blood count is high which reason that he is fighting some kind of infection but we have to
wait for the doctor to tell us after they studied his case report.
9 Jul 09
He was sent for a CT scan. By late evening we met the doctor, he told us there’s a tumor in his
intestine which blocked the entire intestine and that explained why his stomach bloated because he
could not pass out any stools. In another words, what is inside the stomach are the dirty stuffs. Bad
news followed. It is a stage 4 and spread to the liver.
I prepared myself for the worst but still it was abit hard to digest the news.
Reality is cruel.
10 Jul 09
Doctor said they have to operate on him to ease the bloated stomach.It was done in the afternoon 3pm.
It was not successful. By 6pm we were told that a second operation is necessary and its an emergency operation which will be scheduled late at night 1am or later.
11 Jul 09
4.30am, hospital called that operation is scheduled and dad was wheeled to the OT.
10.30am, we reached the hospital, dad was warded to ICU for further observation. He looked well and said he felt better.
12 Jul 09
Around 10.30pm, we met the doctor, Dean Koh. He was visiting my dad and checking out his
condition. He told us the operation was successful and go as planned. After dad recovered from the
operation, he will be put on chemotheraphy.
We asked him is this disease aggressive, he could not give us a definite answer as he said he have
different patients reacting differently to the treatment. He told us that its stage 4, the aim now is to
control the spread and not talking about curing.
Trust me, we all know very well.
Jun 2007, we were told the same thing when granny was diagnosed. We know better than anyone else what we will be going through.
13 Jul 09
Visited dad in the evening, he looked tired and had slight fever. But other than that, he is
pretty ok
It is just seven days but it seemed a great deal of time. I am taking things as it comes, step by step.
Staying positive is important, getting prepared is essential.
Right now, I prayed for the best.
Dad went to see the specialist in regards to his bloated stomach
8 Jul 09
He is extremely discomfort, brother and mum sent him to emergency where he is admitted. We were
told his white blood count is high which reason that he is fighting some kind of infection but we have to
wait for the doctor to tell us after they studied his case report.
9 Jul 09
He was sent for a CT scan. By late evening we met the doctor, he told us there’s a tumor in his
intestine which blocked the entire intestine and that explained why his stomach bloated because he
could not pass out any stools. In another words, what is inside the stomach are the dirty stuffs. Bad
news followed. It is a stage 4 and spread to the liver.
I prepared myself for the worst but still it was abit hard to digest the news.
Reality is cruel.
10 Jul 09
Doctor said they have to operate on him to ease the bloated stomach.It was done in the afternoon 3pm.
It was not successful. By 6pm we were told that a second operation is necessary and its an emergency operation which will be scheduled late at night 1am or later.
11 Jul 09
4.30am, hospital called that operation is scheduled and dad was wheeled to the OT.
10.30am, we reached the hospital, dad was warded to ICU for further observation. He looked well and said he felt better.
12 Jul 09
Around 10.30pm, we met the doctor, Dean Koh. He was visiting my dad and checking out his
condition. He told us the operation was successful and go as planned. After dad recovered from the
operation, he will be put on chemotheraphy.
We asked him is this disease aggressive, he could not give us a definite answer as he said he have
different patients reacting differently to the treatment. He told us that its stage 4, the aim now is to
control the spread and not talking about curing.
Trust me, we all know very well.
Jun 2007, we were told the same thing when granny was diagnosed. We know better than anyone else what we will be going through.
13 Jul 09
Visited dad in the evening, he looked tired and had slight fever. But other than that, he is
pretty ok
It is just seven days but it seemed a great deal of time. I am taking things as it comes, step by step.
Staying positive is important, getting prepared is essential.
Right now, I prayed for the best.
Jul 2, 2009
Mt KK Trip - One that I will Never Forget
On Mar 09, I have decided to embark on the trip to Mt KK, Sabah for trekking. Little do I know how is the trek would be or what should I be expecting. Neverthless I went ahead.
On Jun 09, the date to Mt KK drew nearer and nearer, I begin to feel fear. Questions circling in my mind ; Am I able to do it? Am I able to conquer it? Lots of unknown, I wasn't sure.
Finally Jun 19, I set off having said to myself that I would just try my best. ;D
The route to summit is challenging, dirt mud roads never seems to end. We had to walk and walk, no doubt I curse and swear, why am I suggesting this trip in the first place!
We trekked from morn 9.30am till 6.30pm just to reach the middle of the summit which is the guesthouse! By then I was straving and growing dizzy..I had my dinner and again I have to trek a little more to the rest house (Pendant Hut) where I will be in my wonderland. It was cold, never felt so cold before..
I never bath but washed up and wore all my clothes in preparation for the cold and freezing night ahead. I slept and soon its 1.30am , I had to dragged myself up again, READY for the finale!
The night is cold.. very cold
We start trekking uphill, climbing up every stairs.. soon I find myself hard to breath..
Its dark, the only source of light is from our headlight. It is not going to be easy, I tell myself I have to make it to the top.
The guys are great, they waited for me, guarded me along the way.
If its not me, they would have reach the summit on time to watch the sunrise.
This trip make me challenge myself, whether physically or mentally. I am glad I did it!
It is a trip that worth every sweat of it, every inch of muscles that contribute to the long long journey..
On Jun 09, the date to Mt KK drew nearer and nearer, I begin to feel fear. Questions circling in my mind ; Am I able to do it? Am I able to conquer it? Lots of unknown, I wasn't sure.
Finally Jun 19, I set off having said to myself that I would just try my best. ;D
The route to summit is challenging, dirt mud roads never seems to end. We had to walk and walk, no doubt I curse and swear, why am I suggesting this trip in the first place!
We trekked from morn 9.30am till 6.30pm just to reach the middle of the summit which is the guesthouse! By then I was straving and growing dizzy..I had my dinner and again I have to trek a little more to the rest house (Pendant Hut) where I will be in my wonderland. It was cold, never felt so cold before..
I never bath but washed up and wore all my clothes in preparation for the cold and freezing night ahead. I slept and soon its 1.30am , I had to dragged myself up again, READY for the finale!
The night is cold.. very cold
We start trekking uphill, climbing up every stairs.. soon I find myself hard to breath..
Its dark, the only source of light is from our headlight. It is not going to be easy, I tell myself I have to make it to the top.
The guys are great, they waited for me, guarded me along the way.
If its not me, they would have reach the summit on time to watch the sunrise.
This trip make me challenge myself, whether physically or mentally. I am glad I did it!
It is a trip that worth every sweat of it, every inch of muscles that contribute to the long long journey..
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